When I am with you, I am home
by 3littlewords
Summary: This is an AU for the ending of episode 3x5. Elizabeth Adams dives into a night with her Chief of Staff, Nadine Tolliver. Two powerhouse woman, who work together to make the world a better place than one they fell asleep in, fall through the box of diplomacy and into bed. I do not own any part of Madam Secretary, or these characters. Please comment, I want to write more!


Just another diplomatic event, another gala held at the white house, another day where the Chief of Staff had to swoop to redirect the Secretary before she mutilated one of the president's big donors executive staffers. Nadine walked with authority to the heated debate happening off in the corridor.

"Ma'am, do you have a minute? I have a message from Russell Jackson…"

"Yeah I do," she returned to her phone call and proceeded to chew out some executive staffer who worked for Burton "I don't care, you wasted your time to try to make a deal to get your boss off the hook for stalking me. No, bye." She pursed her lips as she hung up her phone turning on her heels "Let's go, Nadine." Heels clicked as they walked back to the gala. Elizabeth stopped in her tracks "What does he want anyway? He is here, he could have found me instead of sending you." She was still flustered, Nadine could hear it in her tone.

"He doesn't, I did." she said with a bit more purpose than expected. Elizabeth cocked her head to the side with a soft smile on her face. "You were arguing until you were blue in the face and quite frankly, it doesn't match your gown." Nadine sheepishly smile, she felt giddy, she covered it up with a laugh.

Elizabeth walked forward and touched Nadine's arm "Nadine, I appreciate the save. Let's go back to our table, we can't keep the French waiting, who knows what they will say about my choice in wines." Elizabeth warm red lips smiled showing white teeth as she spoke, Nadine watched the smile fade as the tip of her tongue traced her bottom lip as her eyes darted to the floor like she had a thought. Her blue eyes shined in the dimmed lights of the corridor, the gentle crow's feet were soft and her blonde hair framed her face. Something about the way Elizabeth said her name, in a calm, slow, almost breathy bedroom way made Nadine feel a chill down her spine.

She had to turn her eyes down to her hands, with her folded glasses. "We should go" she cleared her throat. Nadine walked a few steps behind Elizabeth, checking her email only to look up and find her gaze Elizabeth's curves. Elizabeth proceeded to the room, walking back to room as her hair bounced behind her. A power stride as she returned to her table only to be stopped to talk to Blake. Nadine took her seat next to the Secretary the night progressed, the two seemed glued at the hip. Laughter filled the air, it was clear that the French were happy, the president was happy, and his chief of staff was finally a few shades darker then the frantic ghost he had been.

Elizabeth turned to Nadine, "Thank you" she said as she raised a flute of champagne.

"For what ma'am?"

"For being you." Elizabeth took a sip and Nadine could have sworn there was a wink.

"Ma'am, I am going to head home." she said as she tied the belt of her jacket, finally having a moment where she could leave papers at her desk leave with a light shoulder bag.

"If you wait just 2 seconds I will walk with you." Elizabeth said as she zipped her coat. "Oh, and Nadine" she said she walked up to her Chief of Staff. "You can call me Elizabeth, after hours."

"I will make note of that ma… Elizabeth." Nadine broke into a smile, the name felt so smooth on her tongue, each syllable bounced in perfect time.

"Don't let the others know you have that privilege." Elizabeth said offhandedly. "I hope you know that I value you far and beyond my Chief of Staff." Her tone was sweet and sincere. "Heck, I might even say a good friend." Nadine smile as her eyes fell to Elizabeth's feet, once in heels now is snow boots. "And as your friend, can we address the this cleavage?" She pulled Nadine's jacket closed and held it in place with one hand. "You were quite the distraction." Nadine felt her heart start to pound as Elizabeth kept her hand pressed to her chest. A wide smile spread across her face a smile that was for no one other than Nadine.

"Ma… Elizabeth I…" Her face was flush and she felt a dull heat spread from her cheeks to her ears as she bit her lower lip " I was trying to dress to impress."

Elizabeth let go of Nadine's jacket "is it that NASA guy again? Or the French ambassador, he was eyeing you ever since the Yorktown event." Elizabeth said with a weak laugh. "I think he was just as surprised as I was to hear you speak fluent French." Elizabeth paused and bit her lip, a habit Nadine noticed early on, was they only sign Elizabeth would give about being nervous or worried.

"You…" Nadine said the word softly as she took a step back. "I wanted you to feel… God, this sounds irrational. I wanted you to feel proud of me as your Chief of Staff, as a friend." The sentence trailed off. "I'm sorry, this was ridiculous, it won't happen again." She said a quickly as she could then stood up straight.

"Well," a long pause came after it as Elizabeth took her glasses off and walked back to lean on her desk. "You and I are nearly double the age as the rest of our staff. But you, you have nothing to prove to me. You know that right?" Nadine locked eyes with Elizabeth's pure blue gaze as she took the few steps to reach her. "You honestly amaze me."

Nadine who stood tall, proud of her work, felt herself melt. "That… that means a lot to hear." Nadine was exhausted, hearing words of praise and admiration made her professional wall shatter. Lips pinched together as she put her glasses on in a failed attempt to hide tears.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you" Elizabeth whispered as she offered a hand to Nadine.

Nadine took Elizabeth's hand "You didn't upset me." She said softly, "I am just at the point of exhausted and excited with this deal that hearing something good makes me cry, and Ma'am, you know I am not one to break down easily. I mean Elizabeth, I…" She put her head down and sucked in a jagged sigh. Elizabeth pulled Nadine into a hug as she ran a hand over her fluffy curly hair. "I get so caught up in work, so caught up in the negative, that I don't take enough time to for me to appreciate all the good." She pulled her head from Elizabeth's shoulder realizing just how comforting it was being so close.

"There is a lot of good, Nadine, I am looking right at it." Elizabeth said as she fixed Nadine's crooked glasses. And kept a hand on her Chief of Staff's arm.

Nadine found herself take a deep breath as her eyes darted back and forth from Elizabeth's. Leaning into her grasp, the two were almost nose to nose. "Elizabeth, I can say the exact same." Her breath still had a hint of red wine as Nadine breathed her in.

"Are we just going to stand here or…" Elizabeth asked slowly as she picked her head up and her eyes did a quick dart around the room.

"Oh..." Nadine went to step aside only to have Elizabeth stop her.

"I meant this" As a hand went to Nadine's cheek, but Nadine had beaten her to it. She stood on her toes so as their lips met. Elizabeth's voice soft, breathy, quiet, the kind of tone Nadine lusted for. "Nadine" the bedside manner in which it was said, how smooth it rolled off Elizabeth's tongue as she leaned in for another kiss. Starting slowly as each woman started to become familiar with the touch and taste. Getting to know the desire behind the curves of each lip as tongues danced. Nadine gripped onto Elizabeth's coat collar kissing deeper, stronger, and faster. Sloppy kisses followed by roving hands. Both parted, out of breath, as they sheepishly grinned.

"Elizabeth…I… wow." Nadine whispered. Collecting herself, "We should head home though." she said a little louder, more for herself than anyone else, she needed to be professional when all she wanted to do was be here, lost in this moment, with this woman.

With a nod, both women fixed their coats and hair and walked to the door leading out of Elizabeth's office. But Elizabeth paused at the open door. "Nadine?" and before Nadine had the chance to answer Elizabeth pinned her against the wall, covering her with kisses that Nadine greedily returned. "Nadine, come home with me. Please." Elizabeth's words begged Nadine. Elizabeth was known for pushing people away, losing people close to her, being a CIA agent she closed out her world. She did nothing but work, when she retired she went into teaching, then she was recruited for Secretary of State it was easier to put romance aside. She needed to be loved, wanted in a way diplomacy could never show, she needed the comforting touch of a person who loved her and she loved back. She needed Nadine.

Nadine smiled widely, turning her head away as she blushed. "As your Chief of Staff I have to say 'that would be wildly inappropriate and unethical' but Elizabeth, I want nothing more." as she offered her hand to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth arranged it so her motorcade wouldn't ask questions, as they returned to Elizabeth's house in Georgetown they talked strictly business. How the success of this gala seemed to put the US and France's relationship in fighting HS.

Arriving at Elizabeth's home, Nadine was surprised to see just how beautiful the interior was. Covered in books, and photos, horse show ribbons, and art. Mostly tidy aside from a few dishes in the sink and shoes scatters by the sofa. "Elizabeth, I have to say, I am impressed."

"Did you expect cats?"

Nadine didn't answer, she was lost in images on the wall, staring at images of Elizabeth smiling the biggest grin while patting the neck of a stately bay horse whose blaze was a little crooked with a blue, red, and yellow ribbon around its neck. The year at the bottom said 2010 Hampton Classic. Elizabeth walked up to Nadine, "That would be Buttercup a failed racehorse turned showjumper."

"Failed… how?" Nadine knew nothing of horses though she had read all the classics like Black Beauty and My Friend Flicka.

"He just wasn't fast enough, he lost his first race so badly. You remember when Secretariat won the Triple Crown? And the victory he lead at the Belmont? Take that space by put that between the back of the pack and my poor guy."

Nadine laughed "Sounds like he and I share the same views on running for fun."

"My trainer found him, by chance, a sickly looking long legged 3 year old. That I purchased at an auction for $1,364 and had him shipped to Virginia. A year of good meals and lots of vet visits he started to show me he loved to jump. So a few years down the line, here is Buttercup, all muscle and the bravest horse out there, we were showing at 1.40 meters and man, he would jump the moon if I asked him. He was only 14 in this picture." Elizabeth picked up the photo. "After a show later that season with a great course and perfect time we won $45,000 that day. I so spoiled him after he was cooled own and bathed, I put him in the stall and walked to watch some other rounds. I returned to give him his dinner only to find him hobbling to the grain bucket."

"Did he pull a muscle? Do horses do that?" Nadine said in shock.

"The vet didn't now, but after scans, a mri, and blood work, we found he had beginning of lymphosarcoma… his career came to a stop, he was given medications, and special feed. Thankfully we caught it early. He loved his job so I did the best thing I could. I found a girl in Kentucky who has him, they mostly do trails, and some shows, all mellow and quiet and he has an amazing retirement. He was a best friend, it was the least I could do." Elizabeth put the picture away and grabbed an e-frame, "this pictures were from out last show."

Nadine was in awe, they looked perfect together. "I have to show you soon, I was actually a dancer and singer before I dropped it all and went to law school." Elizabeth raised an eyebrow "I even made it to Broadway, I was Roxie Hart."

"If it's not too much to ask, I gonna have to see that." Elizabeth squeezed her arm. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"No, I am alright for now."

"Okay, then let me give you the rest of the tour?" She offered her hand to Nadine who took it as they walked out of the living room. "Last but not least, my room." Nadine didn't think twice she walked right it to admire. Elizabeth sat on the bed as Nadine looked around.

"I see you are a model horse collector?" Nadine said as she picked up a Breyer model of Secretariat.

"Horse girl, guilty." Elizabeth raised her hand with a smile.

Nadine walked up to her, and took that raised hand and lowered it so she could hold it in hers. "Thank for having me here." She said quietly.

"Oh, no." Elizabeth said with a wheezing laugh "I should be thanking you." Nadine tilted her head with slight confusion as Elizabeth released her hand and placed both hands on Nadine's forearms and pulled her in roughly for a kiss as she laid back bringing Nadine with her.

Nadine pulled back giggling. Elizabeth must of looked concerned thinking she had over stepped. That big smile as Nadine adjusted her dress so she could straddle Elizabeth was all the answer she needed. Nadine leaned back in for the kiss, holding fist fulls of hair as Elizabeth cupped her rear and gave a gentle squeeze causing Nadine to suck in a quick breath as she withdrew. "Like I said, you amaze me." she brought herself up to kiss Nadine's chest.

"Elizabeth…" With both hands she cupped the others face "this could be a lot easier if I was out of this dress." Elizabeth bit her lip and gave a low laugh as both women sat up and helped with the others zipper. Standing before one another just in their underwear. "Is it bad I am nervous?" Nadine ask will a smile.

"Hey, I am too, but it's exciting." Nadine nodded "I truly get spend this time with you, this amazing woman, where for once, the world isn't falling apart." Elizabeth said she wrapped her arms around the other woman's bare torso.

"Maybe it's because I don't want to disappoint?" Nadine said in a whisper, deeper than she would have liked. She genuinely wanted nothing more than to make Elizabeth happy. Caught in so much emotion that sensations were driving her movements. She had fought feelings since she meet Elizabeth. Now she felt so lost in her own desire and lust, that when she took a step back, she was not scared, she was overjoyed, she found something she never expected. Love. She never thought she would, but she did and let this warm feeling engulf her, she thought she would burst.

"Please… Like that could happen." Elizabeth starting kissing Nadine's neck as she gasped but her movement was ridged. "Hey, there is no need to be tense, we can do whatever you want, promise." Elizabeth said in that same breathy voice as before making Nadine's heart skip a beat.

"I have never felt so many feelings at one time…" Nadine said with a laugh "I don't remember the last time I was truly this happy." Nadine smiled as she wrapped her arms around Elizabeth's neck lost in her blue eyes, yeah, she fell in love with Elizabeth when they first met but now she felt she could admit it and she desperately wanted too.

Elizabeth looked her up and down as her fingers traced down her sides "I also feel like I might say something I shouldn't. But, I'm going to wing it." She paused as she held Nadine's hands in hers. "Nadine, you and I have work together for a short time, but I feel like I can trust you with anything, I consider you my friend, my ally. We work so well together to keep the world from falling apart and we share those well-deserved victories and our heart breaks together when we lose. But I want to share so much more with you. Let's travel and explore, leaving the diplomacy behind, leaving the rest of the world behind. I want quiet nights with you, have moments that are you and me…" Elizabeth bit her lip, as her eyes darted to the floor. Nadine's dark brown eyes stayed locked on the woman before her. "Nadine, you'll think I'm crazy. But I…"

"Elizabeth," Nadine stopped her "I know what you want to say. I want to say it too. But if this… this is all I hope it can be let's save that. All I want right now is to be lost in this moment, in your arms, and just for once feel like the world when I wake up will be the same one I fell asleep in because right now, for once I feel like I am home."

Elizabeth was quiet thinking over her almost slipped 'I love you'. Knowing Nadine was right, but the crush and feeling she had for Nadine started almost 2 years ago, it felt like a lifetime "When I am with you, Nadine, I am home." Elizabeth said playfully she felt her heart racing she hoped she didn't scare Nadine. "Can I just say how lucky I feel?"

Nadine pushed her forehead against Elizabeth's "I think I am the lucky one" she whispered against her lips. With a quick kiss Nadine pushed Elizabeth, falling back on the bed. Nadine straddled Elizabeth. "Now, where were we?" Lips clashed as undergarments quickly disappeared. Nadine kissed her way down Elizabeth stomach, as a hand started to trace the neatly trimmed line of hair. Elizabeth was already quivering under her touch as Nadine's fingers traveled to her warmth and her tongue teased her bundle of nervous, her free hand teased a nipple, pinching and rolling. Elizabeth gasped and kept whispering Nadine's name as she held onto her hair. Shortly after Nadine felt Elizabeth start to grind around her fingers as her moaning whispers became louder. Elizabeth felt a release she hadn't felt in a while. Nadine's talented fingers kept pushed all the way to feel she was floating on a cloud she thought she saw stars. Coming down from her high, she saw Nadine, lick the remainder of Elizabeth of her fingers before reaching for a tissue for her face. Elizabeth stayed put barely about to lift her head, bliss taking over her as her heart continued to pound

Nadine went to crawl over Elizabeth only to have her grab her wrist. "Oh no, now, it's my turn." She kissed Nadine, she could taste herself as she did. Pinning Nadine to the bed she sat above her. Covering her face with kisses wondering to her neck as she started to nibble. Kissing her way down to her breast, her tongue teasing one while she rolled the other. Nadine arched her back up toward Elizabeth. The sensation shocking her senses. Elizabeth kissed her way down her stomach, wasting no time to make Nadine feel the way she did. Nadine was wet and ready. Sliding 2 fingers and kissing, licking, and enjoying the effect she was having on her. Nadine's hip started to buck as she got close. She tried to apologize but Elizabeth only went faster. Nadine pulled a pillow of her head as she screamed out Elizabeth's name, as her body rocked around Elizabeth's fingers, and her soft tongue gently took every last drop.

Elizabeth smiled as she grabbed a tissue, Nadine still had the pillow over her face but her arms were splayed. Elizabeth scooted next to her and pulled away the pillow. She was greeted with a blissful smile, and a face that looked to be the most relaxed Nadine had been since they had me. "Hey, babe." Nadine whispered "Wow."

"Hey sexy" Elizabeth kissed her "I agree to that, damn."

They lay facing one another talking and giggling over sweet little nothings. Elizabeth let Nadine borrow some pajamas as they crawled back into bed. Snuggled close Elizabeth finally felt like she was complete and just as she was going to go sleep, Nadine rolled over. "Babe?" She whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I'll see you in the morning."

Elizabeth gave her a squeeze "Yes you will, first thing in the morning. I can't wait." Nuzzling her nose into Nadine's hair "sweet dreams."


End file.
